Psychology

What other people think of you is their concern

 | January 13, 2012

What happens when you feel like someone doesn’t like you? A whole room of people may like you, but if there’s one there that doesn’t, does it become your whole focus, zapping energy out of you like a slow leak in an otherwise full balloon? Let me tell you, if you’re worrying about who likes you and who doesn’t, it’s just like juggling kittens.

Worrying about people liking you and tossing the family pets around is senseless and draining. It’s not empowering or constructive, and it destroys your focus.

While trying to please everyone all the time, you run the risk of wasting energy trying to please the wrong people and leave the person who you do need to please, you, drained of energy.

Have you ever met someone and felt your soul rejoice because they laughed at your jokes, and were immediately sympathetic to your plights? Why can’t everyone be this way you wonder? Conversely have you ever met someone you felt you just couldn’t get through to? Someone seemingly from an alien planet?

Some people react to this situation by thinking, “I have to get this person to like me.” In the impossible task of trying to get everyone to like you, you are just wasting time and energy, which could be used to focus on your real dreams and goals.

This need to be liked comes from your subconscious. It’s the result of past painful experiences of someone not liking you.

To get beyond trying to get everyone to like you one must accept that there are always going to be people with whom you do not resonate. Lessen your burden and focus on what you really need to, you.

Bill Cosby is famous for saying that he doesn’t know what the key to success is, but he does know that trying to please everyone all the time is the key to failure. Smart man. If you know what you’re looking for you’ll be much more likely to attract people with the same goals and strengths. Letting go of the need to please is freeing and will enable you to focus all that energy toward your real goals.

Ask yourself, “Why would you want to be trying to connect with someone like you?” Get to know your own strengths, thoughts and goals, and be comfortable with them. Let people who don’t like you live with their own strengths, thoughts and goals.

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